my heart beats faster and faster as you slowly walk towards me. My mind wanders off into a day dream about you actually talking to me. Finally, i come to my senses and stop staring. "if only...." i would think to myself everyday. until, one day for some reason, we went to the movies. Now by this time we had talked a little due to mutual friends, which is who, of course, came to the movies with us. Once i starting to get to know you i realized that you do little annoying things. And you flirt with everyone. I had built up this "super hero" you in my head and after all this time, i slowly start to realize, your nothing like i thought you were. We became friends and i lost interest but you'll always be that one guy who i used to be in love with. Until one day, you had been drinking, and you leaned in for a kiss. I panicked. So much was going through my head. "Should i kiss him?" "does he really like me?" "what does this mean?" "is this a one time thing?" "is he really not dating her?" and then that one thought came to mind. The one that changed our relationship forever. "I don't want to kiss him" I never imagined having that thought. But I'm glad i made up my mind just in time. i fell to the ground and acted like i was doing it to be funny. But all i could think about what that one thought...."i don't want to hiss him" It rang in my head over and over. But why? Why don't i want him to kiss me? and then i realized, i don't want him to kiss me when hes under the influence. I've been waiting for this moment for over a year. If he was going to do it, he would have to be sober, and kissing me, because he wants to. not because he has no idea whats going on. and than one little thought saved me from days of crying and a life time of sadness.
Isn't it crazy how one little thought can change you forever?
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